There is just too much material out there….a page must be devoted to it.
Let the Obama jokes begin!
Let me get this straight. We’re going to be “gifted” with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don’t, written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn’t understand it, passed by a Congress that hasn’t read it butexempts themselves from it, to be signed by a president who also smokes, with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn’t pay his taxes, to be overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a country that’s broke. What the hell could possibly go wrong???
The owner of the Phoenix Suns basketball team, Robert Sarver, opposes AZ’s new immigration laws.
AZ’s Governor, Jan Brewer, released the following statement in response to Sarver’s criticism of the new law:
“What if the owners of the Suns discovered that hordes of people were sneaking into games without paying?
What if they had a good idea who the gate-crashers are, but the ushers and security personnel were not allowed to ask these folks to produce their ticket stubs, thus non-paying attendees couldn’t be ejected.
Furthermore, what if Suns’ ownership was expected to provide those who sneaked in with complimentary eats and drink?
And what if, on those days when a gate-crasher became ill or injured, the Suns had to provide free medical care and shelter?”
AZ Gov. Jan Brewer
The “Wizard of Oz” is 70 years old. Today, if Dorothy were to encounter Men with no brains, no hearts, and no courage – She wouldn’t be in Oz – She’d be in Congress
Little Johnny is not an Obama fan
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were obama fans.
Not really knowing what an obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different… again.
Little Johnny said, “Because I’m not an obama fan.”
The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you a fan of obama?” Johnny said, “Because I’m a Republican.”
The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican. Little Johnny answered, “Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.”
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?”
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, “That would make me an obama fan.
Who are Zombies? Click the video to watch:
Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of
Israel “pick up your shovel , mount your asses and camels,
And I will lead you to the promised land”.
Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels,
Sit on your asses and light up a camel, this is the promised land.”
Now Obama is going to steal your shovel, kick your asses, raise
The price of camels and mortgage the promised land.
Learn from the past, or at least Hollywood. Is Obama really Senator Palpatine from Star Wars? Click to watch.
Newsweek is in heaven. Click here for a fun poke at our hard hitting news media in action.
WATCH YOUR BEANS. A young man walked into a candy store and saw a jar of brightly colored beans on the counter. He reached into the jar and pulled out a green bean. “What does this do?” he asked. The owner said “That is a money bean – eat it and you’ll get money!” He reached in the jar again and pulled out a pink bean. “What does this do?” he asked and the owner said, “That is a love bean – eat it and you’ll fall in love.” He pulled out a white and black bean and asked “What does this do?” and the owner said “That is an Obama bean. You don’t even need to eat it and it already worked”. The young man was puzzled and said, “What do you mean already worked?” And the owner said “When you reached in the jar and selected it, it took your watch…and your ring…and your wallet… and your car keys.”
Q. What’s the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?
A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.
Source: Vince, Barackobamajokes.com
GOTTA GET ONE: THE OBAMA CARD
I SCREAM AT THIS ICE CREAM
There is a new ice cream flavor called Barocky Road. It is half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion is not advertised and is often denied as an ingredient.
HOW MUCH IS BAROCKY ROAD?
Cost is $100 per scoop, and once you pay, you have to turn around and give your ice cream to the next person in line, leaving you with an empty wallet.
BIDEN IS JUST AS FUNNY TOO.
Obama isn’t the only one worthy to laugh at. His highly qualified running mate, Joe Biden is making is own mark. Click on the video to see some of Biden’s gaffes.
DON’T TAKE OFF THE OBAMA BUMPER STICKERS
A small business owner was struggling with how to manage with rising taxes and increased costs thanks to President Obama. He needed to cut 10% of expenses and didn’t know where to turn. His employees were like family and it was impossible to decide who would have to go. So he did the easiest thing: he went into the parking lot to see who had Obama bumper stickers still on their car. As he told those 6 Obama supporters they were the ones to loose their jobs he said, “but you were hoping for change.”
HOW MUCH IS A BRAZILIAN?
In his daily National Security briefing President Obama learned that Brazilian soldiers had been killed in their service as coalition forces in Iraq. Obama looked shaken and disturbed and buried his head in his hands. “Oh no” he quietly said…”how much is a Brazilian?”. (He does not know how much a billion or a trillion is either)
TELEPROMPTER OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (TOTUS)– a blog written by the most talented machine in public service today. Visit daily for some great laughs at our speech-challenged President.
President Obama took some banking and insurance executives out to dinner and told them, “Order whatever you want to drink, order whatever you want to eat, order some to take home, order some for your neighbors and make sure you all also get some dessert.”
One of the executives exclaimed, “Mr. President, that’s going to cost a fortune!” Obama replied, “Don’t worry about it. We won’t be here when the check comes.”